Saturday, October 14, 2006

Adult Bib

There is nothing more humiliating than the idea of turning back in to a child in your old age, as far as I'm concerned. Wearing adult diapers and adult bibs, being unable to walk more than 20 feet or so without resting, becoming forgetful, and having to have others look after you, are daily realities for hundreds of thousands, or perhaps millions worldwide. I've always thought that, when I get older, I'm going to live alone as a hermit. That way, once I start being unable to live on myself, I will die. I won't have to live being spoon fed, with the contents dripping down the front of my adult bib. Better die able to clean and feed myself than live wearing an adult bib.
I suppose that everyone feels this way when they are young, but the grim realities of age creep up on them. Is having to wear an adult bib enough reason to end it all? Probably not alone. What about adult diapers? Humiliating, but for many, life still goes on. And in that way, one by one the ravages of age creep up on you until it is not just adult bib and adult diaper, but senility and dementia, brittle bones and feeble mind, liver spots and arthritis. Because of this, autonomy is the most important thing in the world. Above all, your life must be yours to live as you see fit, and yours to end as you see fit.
That is why I like the idea of living off in the woods alone as an old man. That way, as long as I am reasonably fit, I continue to live, but there is a built in safeguard to keep me from becoming a living vegetable by degrees. There is nothing so humiliating about an adult bib if you are the only one there eating, but as soon as it gets to be too much, or life starts to become too tired, I'll be able to do it. Jump off a cliff if I'm feeling frisky, run in front of a car if I'm mischievous, or if I've mellowed in my days, simply overdose on sleep pills and call it a night – forever. People get so hung up on life that they will put up with any indignity – from adult bib to permanent tube feeding and life support – just to extend their life by another month or so. Not me.